Change can be incredibly unsettling.
It can affect your health and family life; it can totally stress you out. You might feel stuck as you don't know what actions to take. You might feel like you're caught at the crossroads and unsure which way to turn.
We go through all kinds of changes or transitions in our lives: mid-life crises, kids leaving home, entering retirement, redundancy, or even the threat of redundancy with your workplace restructuring – yet again. You may be dealing with some kind of loss, or you're in a job that is no longer satisfying.
Any of these can throw you off balance and impact your mental and physical health, causing you to become stressed and stuck. You start to spiral downwards.
Change, whether planned or unexpected, can really throw us. It's hard to make decisions, especially if it's a situation that's been forced on us.
Often, clients come to me because they say they're stressed. As we start to unravel their story, it is frequently a life transition - or even a combination of several critical life change events - that's the root of their stress and discomfort.
A part of our brain is wired to scan the environment for threats constantly, and if it perceives a threat, it can throw our bodies into a 'fight, flight or freeze' response.
It is a survival technique. It's automatic.
If we perceive a threat, our brains produce chemicals that change our behaviour, how we perform, and how we think. We have a default mechanism that gears us to experience negative emotions – fear, anxiety, stress, or anger.
Interestingly, the brain sees change as another threat.
Yes, we often struggle because change or merely the threat of change can trigger the fight, flight or freeze response. Especially if it is a significant event or a combination of events.
For example: Your workplace is restructuring. You’re unsure if the new structure and roles potentially light your fire; Your best friend has moved out of town recently; Your youngest child has moved away to university: and Your father has recently passed away. Yes, it can happen! Multiple changes can really stop us in our tracks.
So, it is entirely normal to feel like the wheels are falling off the bus if you are experiencing a significant threat or an actual change, and your brain can't seem to figure out a way forward. We have to work hard to clear our heads, build positive emotions and tools, and do a bit of a reset to navigate our way forward.
You can move more confidently through these events, and it is the perfect time to engage a coach or counsellor, like me, to help you unravel your story, re-evaluate your priorities and goals, develop solutions, and create new plans to move positively forward.
While change is a "threat", it is also a time of opportunity, though we don't always see that when we're stuck in the middle.
That's what I love – being able to support and coach people through life change events, seeing people gain perspective, and move forward with purposefulness, positivity and confidence.